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How to help your child during your divorce

In our previous post we wrote about how to tell your children you and their other parent are planning to divorce. While that is often a major hurdle, it is just the beginning of the process for the kids. Throughout the course of the divorce they could struggle to come to terms with the change. Though children will likely have feelings about the divorce that cannot be controlled, there are things that parents can do to minimize them. In this post we will focus on steps parents can take to try to make things as easy as possible for kids involved.

First, if at all possible, minimize the number of major changes that are introduced into the life of the child. They are likely already struggling with coming to terms with the fact the entire family will no longer live together.

Second, while it is of course okay to show interest in your child's life by having a conversation about what your child is doing when he or she spends time with the other parent, the discussion should be general. It should not turn into an interrogation.

Issues between you and your spouse should be kept private. Children should be isolated from any issues you are experiencing with their other parent. Accordingly, you should avoid talking badly about that individual.

While it is best to approach parenting the same way you always did, there are some changes that will need to be made. An extra effort may need to be made to keep the other parent aware of what is going on in your child's life. When kids experience difficulty dealing with the changes arising as a result of the divorce, seek help from a therapist. Similarly, if you are having a hard time being civil to your ex, a therapist could help you address that issue as well.

In the course of a divorce, the lawyer you select could have a big impact on how things go. Accordingly it is important you select someone who not only has a thorough understanding of the process but understands the approach you would like to take.

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