When a marriage seems to be coming apart, couples sometimes decide that they should have a child. They may feel like doing so might be a way to fix their relationship and “bring them together.”
The reasoning could make sense to them at the time. Maybe they think they’re unhappy because they haven’t done all of the traditional things they expected to do at their age: Starting a career, buying a home, having kids, etc. They figure out that jump-starting that process will invigorate them and make them feel like they’re on the right path, thus helping the marriage grow stronger.
The truth, though, is that this does not work. Having a child will not make the relationship stronger. Children can actually put more pressure on a relationship. Couples have even less time for each other. They’re learning new skills and facing a lot of new stress. For some happily-married couples, this is a difficult time. A couple that is already struggling may really find it harder to stay together. It can make all of the little issues feel bigger than they were before, and the parents now have less time to talk about them or work to fix them.
On top of that, having a child only makes the eventual divorce a lot more complicated than it would be otherwise. It introduces many questions about custody and dividing time with the child that wouldn’t have existed a year before.
If you do decide to get divorced, whether you have a child with your partner or not, just be sure you know what steps to take and what rights you have. That’s important to your future.