While the subject is never a fun one to discuss, talking about divorce with your children is a crucial step in ending your marriage.
Staying calm and collected, as well as gauging your children’s reactions while discussing it, can help this talk go smoothly.
According to the American Psychological Association, a sudden change in daily living can cause children of all ages to experience bouts of stress. Discussing this subject can bring up fear and doubt, especially if children mistakenly blame themselves for your divorce.
Reassure them that you still love them and that you still get along with your ex-spouse. Do not try to hide behind long explanations, but be direct and upfront about what will happen in the next few months.
Some people may find it is helpful to write out a plan of what to say to their children before they begin to talk. This can help relieve pressure and keep you focused on the topic at hand.
Showing your children your plan can also help them understand what changes will happen. They may have questions about where they will live or who will pick them up from school from now on. Answering these questions confidently will help calm their fears.
Allow for big emotions
Make sure to expect a reaction, and do not shy away from letting your children express intense emotions. The transition from a two-parent household into a new school or house can be frightening.
Making sure to spend more quality time with your children beforehand is one way to help this transition happen without too much worry.